Day 21~ My biggest fear

21 Mar


What I fear. I could seriously sit here and probably write a whole post on what my biggest fears are but I’ll save you and give you the abridged version.

For one, I’m afraid of losing any one in my family. I seriously don’t know what I would do (god forbid) if I lose my parents or my sister, niece or nephew. I can’t even think about it. Let’s just say I’ll probably be admitted somewhere for a little while and people will have to come visit me. I can’t even think about it. I know it’s fact of life but it’s scares the bejesus out of me.

I am afraid of being alone. Not like alone in my house, alone. That I can do. I actually enjoy spending time by myself. A lot of people don’t know how to do that and I’m grateful that I do. I’m talking like real, never getting married or being in a committed relationship, alone. I truly sometimes think it’s just not in my cards and I am meant to do other things. I really hope that’s not how my plan is going to go, but I have to just continue to trust in the process.

I am afraid of never becoming a mother. I feel like a mom every single day, and they sometimes slip and call me mom on accident, which I think is hilarious. I know that I am meant to be a mother and that it will happen some day but I am still afraid that it may never happen.

Hmmmm……okay enough mushy deep stuff, let’s talk fears for real.

I am afraid of spiders, heights and clowns. There is nothing worse than knowing you are the only person in your house and you have to face a spider. I know that if I don’t kill that spider, I’m not sleeping and he’s coming to get me. So I am that ninja who finds Windex, a magazine or even a shoe to disperse of that eight legged little creature. I have created many contraptions to trap and carry them to the toilet to send them off to their final resting place.

Heights is another story (but yet I love roller coasters. Go figure). I honestly feel like that if I’m near a railing that doesn’t have a high wall, my body will literally just take over and throw me over the ledge. Or if I’m at an arena and I’m in a high seat, my body will just throw me down the flight of stairs. Weird, I know.

And last but not least, clowns. I was just telling my kids yesterday at school that I literally hate clowns. I don’t like the fact that I don’t know who is behind that make up. And let’s be honest, they are not attractive at all! It could be some crazed lunatic behind that make and I’m all set. No thanks. I need to see your face sans make up and all.

There you have it. Now let’s hope I don’t dream of a crazed clown chasing me at the top floor of an arena and then my body just flinging me down the stairs and me falling into a web full of spiders! That would really suck.


What are some of your biggest fears?





One Response to “Day 21~ My biggest fear”

  1. crankycaregiver March 21, 2013 at 11:37 pm #

    My biggest fear is losing one of my children before I die. I’m not sure I could handle that. Little fears include all 3 of yours..although I was never afraid of clowns until I read “IT” by Stephen King! Now, if I see a clown, I hear a little voice inside my head whisper “We all float..we all float down here!”

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